It’s time for our Apocalyptic Sales Event!

I read on this weekend that a group of  Christians has decided that this May 21st will be the Apocalypse, well now we know.  Only three more months of paying the mortgage, taking out the trash and waiting for Charlie Sheen to implode upon himself.  The Chicago Cubs won’t win the World Series, Iowa Hawkeyes the BCS National Championship, and the chances of me losing 20 pounds just lost it’s appeal.  Just 90 more days of living here on planet earth, unless of course these well-meaning folks just got the date wrong.  I’m not totally dismissing their claim, (I do think Christ is coming back) but I’m thinking that I’ll still have to get up that morning and go to work, and the day after that, and the day after that, etc.  It would be interesting to think of how our American culture would handle a “firm” end-of-times date, as some folks would continue to try to “make a buck” right up to the very end.   Maybe something like this radio ad…

“Hi folks it’s Big Al of Big Al’s Discount CarWorld down here on the corner of 5th and Main and we’re getting ready for our END OF TIMES CAR & TRUCK BLOW OUT!!  You heard right folks, there’s never been a better time to save money on a brand new car, truck or minivan!!  Drive off in the luxurious ride of  new Buick Regal, or face the terror of the Apocalypse in a RUGGED 4 X 4 Chevy Silverado crew cab!!  You’ll wish that you had more than just three months to enjoy such a fantastic vehicle!  Speaking of the regien of the Prince of Darkness…here’s our finance manager…PHIL!


(Phil speaking now)  Hi folks, if you’ve got bad credit or no credit at all we’ll work hard to get you into a vehicle that you can pay off in just three easy payments.  Starting this Friday we’ll have free hot dogs and soft drinks, free face painting for the kids and Clozo the clown will be here making those crazy balloon animals for all the kids!  I’d also like to point out that we’ve got Chevy Silverado’s starting at just $14,999!  That’s below dealer invoice!  We’ve got to sell all of these cars and trucks off our lot this weekend!  The savings will be eternally fantastic!  Com’ on down…today!

May 21st 2011. $5 gasoline. Charlie Sheen.  Lindsey Lohan.  Maybe they’ve got the date a little late?


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