This is what it’s come to…professional athlete’s getting all of the fame and glory while the rest of us working class schmucks work our tails off, paying our taxes, keeping out of trouble with the law and doing what’s expected of us by our employers and family’s. It doesn’t seem fair, these athletically talented people hogging all of the glory and attention for themselves, why there’s millions of talented working folks in this great country of ours who do their fair share of work without much, if any, fanfare or acclaim…which doesn’t sit well with me. Let’s see some of those NBA superstars pull a regular job driving a snowplow during a midwest snowstorm, or an NFL defensive back teach a roomful of second graders how to read, or a professional baseball star work in a doctors office while doing their newfound duties without the hoopla that they’ve grown accustomed too. I envision a world where we’re all treated well, where we’re all treated like superstars and in turn treat others like superstars (it’s my blog and I can get delusional if I like). I’d like to see everyone get an introduction to their workday in the following manner:
In an announcer’s amplified voice, Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, kids of all ages…here’s today’s starting lineup for the Qwikie Kleen Dentistry Team. Coming in at six feet, three inches, two hundred and forty-five lean mean tooth decay fightin’ machine pounds…that holds the state record for twelve tooth extractions in one sitting…PAUL…THE VICE GRIP MMMMYYYYEEERRRSSSS!!! (and the dentist struts out of the break room and into the patient waiting room to the loud throbbing beat of Motley Crue’s “Kick start my heart”. Patients jump up and high five each other while others clap, yell and whistle for the dentist who’s still jogging in circles around the waiting room, high fiving anyone who’s close. Then the spotlight spins around and focus’s on the door of the break room as the loud music continues while the announcer starts up again and in the administrative assistant position and acting greeter of the Qwikie Klean…a Kirkwood Community College graduate and long time life partner of doctor Myers…he’s the prince of punk, the duke of funk, and the ayatollah of rock and rolla…BRRRUUUUCCCCEEE IIIIRRRIIISSSH!!! And the break room door is thrown open as Bruce jumps out into the spotlight in a delightful yet tasteful yellow jumpsuit with sequins on the cuffs and shoulders. Bruce does some pretty mean gyrations to the thrashing guitar solo that’s blaring and finishes off with a couplea cart wheels as he heads to his desk as the crowd in the waiting room is stirred up into a frothy bunch of dental wannabees. But the show isn’t over yet as the volume of the music is lowered and the spotlight is yet again focused on the break room door as the announcer begins again. And last but not least Qwikie Klean fans (who are now well on their way to hysteria) Introducing at five feet, four inches, one hundred and twenty-three pounds, a dental hygienist with a diploma from Kaplan University and a Bachelor of Science Degree in the “spit and rinse” category…a fireball from Cedar County and the pride and joy of Bennett, Iowa…ladies and gentlemen, let’s put our hands together and raise the roof for the diva of dentistry….MMMIIIINNNDDDEEEE OOOOOOOOOLLLLLLSSSSOOOONNNNNN! And at this point Mindy walks out of the break room and into the laser lights and fog show…flashing gang signs with her hands that only other dental hygienists would know, and then jumps and chest bumps her boss, the dentist Phil, in midair. Mindy acknowledges the waiting room crowd with a few nods of her head and then points to the ceiling…acknowledging God and His part in this grand entrance, then she jogs over to her chair and sink…preparing for the first of many exams that she’ll perform that day…in-between signing autographs.
That’s the way we should do it….like a rock star.