Letters to the editor, part four

Letters sent to me by real, breathing, avid readers of this blog….no joshin’.

Donna K. of South Charlestown, South Carolina Mental Health Specialists queries me with this…How do you come up with such odd stories and are you on any medication for this condition?  ZING!!  Ya got me Donna!  No, I’m not on any medication (that I’ll admit to) for thinking up the wacky stuff that I do.  Idea’s come to me at the oddest times, though many of my “stories” happen when I’m well rested and highly caffeinated (two volatile ingredients to a highly dangerous “Richard”, or as my wonderful wife calls me during those times,  “KING RICHARD”.  I also get ideas throughout the day, though an idle mind is fertile soil for me, so just prior to falling asleep is another good time for story ideas, I’ll write those ideas down then fall asleep.  I have pages of incoherent notes that I’ve written prior to a good night’s rest, that if deciphered properly, would yield a couplea months worth of material.  Thanks for asking, pass the Xanax.


Dwight W. of Big Rock, Iowa emailed me for the answer to his question…Are you planning anything for your summer vacation that you could write about or can we continue to look forward to reading about your “usual” nonsense?  That’s Mister Nonsense to you!  (HA!) No, I tease because I love, and thanks for writing me Dwight.  The answer is “yes” I am going somewhere for vacation this summer.  Connie informed me that I’m driving the family to Disney World in Orlando Florida this summer for our vacation, so I’ll run across many potential story ideas that might, (might) warrant your precious attention, Dwight.  Here’s hoping that my probation officer allows me to cross multiple state lines before we go, or you might see ol’ Rich on next Saturday night’s episode of COPS. “He’s a runner!  Get the dog after him!!”


David & Gwen R. of Sebring, Florida wrote me and want to know…are you touring with Kool & the Gang this summer?  Gwen and I caught you at the ‘84 Iowa State Fair when Rowdy Rich & the Funky Bunch opened for Kool & the Gang and were hoping for a reunion tour of sorts.  That was one wild and unforgettable summer tour Dave!  Wow!  All of those memories have come flooding back to me just now about that wonderful time of my short-lived rock star status.  Sadly though, Kool and I haven’t spoken since the early 1990’s when I was neck deep in opening up a bunch of IHOPS across southwestern Illinois.  To this day I can’t hear a Kool & the Gang song and not get a craving for a stack of buttermilk pancakes. (sniff) It tears me up inside that I didn’t take him up on his generous offer to tour with him at that time.  Coincidently, Rowdy Rich & the Funky Bunch is performing at the Mercer County Pothole Street Dance in beautiful Joy, Illinois July 15th if you’re that interested in hearing us again.  Good rappin’ with ya, brother!


Jean R. of Webster City, Ia questions me on my motives regarding my last minute substitution as “judge” of the annual Hamilton County Fair Bake-Off, sponsored in part by Crisco.  Honestly Jean…the other judge got sick (of eating pie) and I had to fill in as best I could.  I’m somewhat of an old hand at eating home-baked goodies… much like Grizzly Adams was to rasslin’ around with that big-ass bear in the 1970’s TV show “Grizzly Adams”.  It’s a miracle of sorts that actor Dan Haggerty even lived through the show’s pilot after accidentally falling into a barrel of salmon oil and being chased by several crazed bears, two raccoons and a skunk.  But back to the hotly contested Bake-Off.  I apologize for any “off the cuff” remarks about piecrusts, chiffons, babkas, brownies, beignetsouffl, cakes, rolls and casseroles.  But with the July heat, and my can of Diet Coke running out, I had to make a quick decision…and I stick by it.  Triple Berry Surprise Pie was, and is, the winner!  Congratulations Marlys Hopkins of rural Hamilton County!  Pick up your $25 gift card to Merle Haye Mall in beautiful Des Moines, Iowa soon or the Pork Producers will use it in their raffle (I’m dead serious…they will.)


Those are some pretty good letters, if I do say so myself.  I have some of the most loyal and interesting blog readers of anyone out there.  It’s a wonder that they have time for reading at all, much less inquiring about this little article.  As usual…thanks for writing and may God bless you this week!





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