My Top Ten WordPress Achievements

At the now momentous three-month anniversary since joining I’d like to point out the top ten achievements of my blog:

1.     It’s the most read blog in Mercer County, Illinois.  Suck on that egg!!

2.     It’s the first, and only, scratch and sniff blog on the Internet.  Go ahead, scratch your screen, lean forward and sniff….the aroma of freshly fried bacon should be evident.  If not….upgrade to Explorer 9 w/ bacon.

3.     We’ve expanded from just one writer here at to a fully staffed office of eight full time writers, three drivers, two administrative assistants, one editor and one mascot.  That’s a crap load (repeating…crap load) of talent that we have at Ripley Industries.  Fresh, delicious comedy…for free, like God intended. 

4.     We’ve won several Peabody Awards…whatever those are. 

5.     We’re leaders in several blog comedic categories like: chuckles, giggles and snorts, but have come up short on the chortles and “shooting milk out of the nose funny” categories.  There’s always room for improvement, people… room for improvement. 

6.     The sponsored bowling and horseshoe pitching teams both placed at the top of their respective leagues.  Good job ladies!! 

7.     We’ve darn near cleared 2000 views on this website over the last three months, or the equalivent of a minutes worth of views of a normal porn site.  At least you don’t have to read my blog in the secrecy of your den and worry about burning in hell. 

8.      Reading my blog actually burns 10 calories, if you’re into that sort of thing.

 9.     My blog was voted as having the best rewards program of any blog reward program out there.  As I’ve said before…the key to winning peoples hearts and minds are free key chains with those little naked trolls on ‘em.

10.  Our “Letters to the editor” series (now up to five) is by far and away my most popular reoccurring series (honestly it’s the only reoccurring series), but the other stories about me and the relationships between me, my wife and our three daughters that I live with are a close second.  Honest to goodness comments come in from women like crazy on those stories…some on WordPress, some on my e-mail and others on Facebook.  It’s nice to know that I’ve struck a cord with something that I’ve written.   One gal from Scotland commented on my “Letters to the editor part 4” blog. .  Scotland!  

I haven’t decided whether to continue posting twice a week or knock it down to just once a week for the summer.  This is just a hobby that I enjoy doing and as long as folks like to read it, and it’s not interfering with my social life (HA!) I’ll continue to post regularly.  Thanks to those of you who’ve read and commented.  I should go now, I have a couplea dozen naked mini troll key chains to mail off to Scotland….I have a huge following up that way….no offense Mercer County.


3 thoughts on “My Top Ten WordPress Achievements

  1. no offense taken. As far as this reader is concerned in Mercer County, your blog is #1. I especially enjoyed your article about a good wife, I can especially relate to that one. My list of examples just like your raccoon proof trash can, could go on forever, I won’t bore you with the details. Keep up the good work and the entertainment. Doug

    • Thank you…I appreciate your comments….now if I can only figure out what a “blogroll” is. Is it like a caramel roll? 😉
      ps…I noticed a bump in my readership….thanks!

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