My Top 10 List Of Things That I Say To

Our Daughters That Drive Them Crazy

(They’re 15, 18 & 20 Years Old)

1.     “You know that guy that was in that movie that you just watched and thought was so hot?  He’s older than me.

2.     “You’re going to grow up, fall in love with and marry a man who is just like me.

3.     I love this song!  I love it so much that I’m going to dance to it…right here in the grocery store.  Somebody STOP ME!!

4.     (After hearing about another actress who is pregnant by some rock star coming out of rehab) Here’s what you should do.  Finish high school. Finish college.  Get a good job.  Find yourself a good man.  Marry him, then start living together, and then start on the whole “baby making” thing.

5.     Wow…I remember this song from when I was your age.  Billy Idol re-made it in 1983 from the original, which was done sometime in the 1960’s.  I think that I have it on a cassette tape that’s out in my truck.  Do you want to listen to it together?

6.     Pull my finger!

7.     You like Green Day too?  So do I.  Their lead singer is my age, and he wears eyeliner.  What would you do if I picked you up at school wearing your mothers eyeliner?  It could be a new thing for me… taking some of the attention off of my bald spot.  I dunno, what do you think?

8.     Come here and give me a hug “O seed of my loins.” (This always grosses them out)

9.     Who wants to rub some sun block…on my back? 

10.   Do I have to wear pants if your friends are coming over?

11.  (Bonus saying)  Yes…I am wearing white over the calf socks with shorts.  It’s comfortable.

12.  (Again with the bonus)  I’m home…O loving family of mine!

13.  (this is free, so who’s counting)  Help me with this computer, please?