Letters to the Editor part 7

It’s the return of my most popular series…Letters to the Editor, part 7.

Christopher K. of Ocala, FL writes me with this question; “Is there anything more narcissistic than writing about yourself in a blog?”  I don’t know Christopher…but if there is be sure to let me know…it might be something right up my creek!.  Let’s keep in touch!  Your favorite blogging buddy, Rich.

Francis U. from Iowa Falls, IA e-mailed me with a question that gets asked a lot, so bear with me; “Are you on Face Book, and if so, which Rich Ripley are you?”  An excellent question, Francis, thanks for bringing up the old “Face Book” issue again.  I’m the Rich Ripley whose photo shows me climbing over a White House fence (it’s only three feet tall) but it was a good sight gag for our Christmas card last year.  I have a few rules regarding “friending” someone on Face Book, they are as follows:

 

  • If we only have one friend in common OR your name is “Trixie Hooters” and your profile photo belongs in Maxim magazine…sorry, I won’t friend you.  That kind of stuff is way too hard to explain to my wife.

 

  • I won’t friend anyone who uses a photo of an animal for his or her profile photo.  If it’s a cartoon animal, sure.  A real life animal, no.  Don’t ask me why…that’s just the way I roll.

 

  • I work for a living (it’s not an urban legend like first reported by The Onion) so don’t expect a reply real fast…unless you’re super cool then I’ll sit by the computer and wait for you…until I can stalk you in person (evil laugh).

 

  • I don’t fully understand Face Book so don’t request that I start playing Farmville or ask about some other APP.  I’ll ignore you, that’s the way I play.  Don’t even get me started about our new “64 Button” TV remote.  If I hadn’t found the “ mute, on & off”, and “channel up & down” buttons I would’ve had a heart attack last weekend.  Damn thing.

 

  • If your interests include “breaking out of prison” or “swastika’s”…that’s a “no” in my book, so is sending me any message with “hearts” attached.  Do all three things together and I’ll probably quit Face Book altogether.

 

Thanks for asking, again, Francis.  Tell Delores “hey” for me.

Theresa S. of rural Galva, IL penned me a postcard with this question.  “My husband doesn’t help much around the house.  What do you do to help your wife?”  Good question Theresa, and here’s my answer…I stay the hell out of her way! (HA!) No seriously…I really do try to stay out of her way, she asks a lot of tough questions, and I really wonder why, after 22 years of marriage, she thinks that I have any (much less) the correct answers is beyond me.  But back to your question, “yes”, I do a few things around the house.

 

Inside the house I do a few of the weekly cleaning chores, and wash the pans and whatnot that don’t fit in our dishwasher.  I also launder our bath towels.  I used to wash our kids clothes too, but soon after our girls started middle school and started wearing those t-shirts that are form fitting and jeans “just alittle” too snug, my old laundering ways of “cold water wash” and “high heat” dry…shrunk some of their new clothes so small that they wouldn’t have fit an American Girl doll.  Man was my wife mad…but it was an honest mistake…so I’ve been relegated to “towel duty” every night.  But I am the MAIN GUY when it comes to lawn care.  I can talk at length about Aphids, deer and the neighborhood raccoons that are loving my neighbor’s mulberries and grapes and finishing off their evening with my hostas as dessert.  My backyard is a mulberry-poop laden minefield. 

Ruth K. of Maysville, IA shot off this quick note…”Corn flakes or oatmeal?”  Oatmeal, Ruth.  It combines my enjoyment of oats with my love of meals.  Good question Ruth…keep those easy ones coming my way!

Paula W. of Augusta, GA queries me this “Who checks the spelling, punctuation and grammar in your blogs?  Some of them are a little shaky, to put it politely.”  Once again, ladies and gentlemen, this whole Letters to the Editor series proves that I have some of the smartest readers…in the WORLD.  To answer Paula’s question…yes, I have a proof reader, my lovely wife Connie.  She’ll tell me “that word doesn’t exist, so don’t use it.” Or she’ll tease me by saying “apostrophe’s aren’t supposed to be used like you use them, so quit using them like that!” (I have no idea what she’s talking about, but it’s fun to include her and she does a wonderful job being my full time proofreader here at Ripley Industries).

I’m taking a week off from writing so you can take a vacation from me…Merry Early Christmas. 

Rich

 

 

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