Things that I’ve learned at age 45…PART DUEX
Come back here Herman!!
- That some of the coolest people I know are in their sixties! Six. Zero. I admire the crap out of them too.
- That when my company assigned 401K retirement advisor meets with me for my once a year review he always says, “You’re not that far away from retirement.” I think that he’s being way optimistic. It doesn’t help that he drives a Jaguar and smells wonderful.
- That when my wife leaves town for a couplea days and tells me “you’ll have to cook for you and the girls” what I hear is “Go ahead and get some sandwiches from Subway or that Mexican burrito place while I’m gone as long as you dispose of the wrappers before I get home.” Strange that I hear it that way.
- That I’m turning into a real life Ned Flanders, of the Simpsons. I’m not the Holy Roller that old Neddie Boy is…but on a scale of one to ten with ten being Ned, I’m at about a 6 or 7. Mmmm…nothin’ like a glass of warm tap water to make ya feel right at home.
- That I can’t sleep very well the night before my day off. I think that I’m looking too forward to working in the yard, in my man-garage & sneaking off to Dairy Queen in the afternoon. Yes…I am turning into Ned Flanders.
- That I really, really enjoy reading the weekend newspaper cover to cover in the early morning hours, with a hot cup of coffee on our porch that faces our backyard with all of the neighborhood squirrels and birds dining at the feeders and drinking from the bird bath. Occasionally the boldest of the squirrels comes up and tries to drink my coffee, until it realizes that I don’t take cream with it. Have you ever heard a squirrel swear? I believe that I have.
- That life is fleeting. So is your health. Do what you need to do, say what you need to say before it’s too late.
- That you should act silly occasionally because everybody loves a clown…except those weird scary clowns, then you should act accordingly.
- That most mistakes aren’t fatal, thank God.
- That I’ve come to respect old folks a heck of a lot more in the past couplea years.
- That I still want a puppy. I haven’t come up with a cool enough name yet. I’m kickin’ around the following: Champ, Flash, Blue, Bo, Augie, Duke or Herman. I want a big dog too, like a German Shepard, Rottweiler or Golden Retriever. Nothing says “get out of my way since my dog is big enough to eat your dog” not that my dog would…old Herman’s a good dog…aren’t ya boy? My second choice…a blue heeler. Blue heelers are known as very loyal and intelligent dogs and their breath smells better than most humans.
- That nothing is original anymore. Someone has had the same thoughts as you, felt the same way as you, written the same things as you…thousands if not millions of times before you. Go ahead…think of something original…write it down, then do an Internet search on it. You are an original; your emotions, thoughts, motives and actions…perhaps not so much.
- That life is a classroom and many folks aren’t paying attention to the lesson.
- That my air guitar and air drum skills do not transfer to the real things, which is a shame because I rock on both. I still hope to front for my youthful ambition of leading “Rowdy Rich & the Funky Bunch.” A backup band to the backup band. Alas…we’ve seen the spotlight only from the shadows or during sound checks.
- That if I post this blog late enough at night someone from across our planet will read it and comment. It’s happened, and it’s nice to know that someone in Australia appreciates my writing. Their use of the English language is “eye opening” to me.
- That redemption is for everyone.
- That I will try to work an odd word into my vocabulary every week. This week’s word, conundrum. As in “that’s quite a conundrum you’re in young lady.” Conundrum.