Shriners, Hells Angels or Methodists?

It’s time to cut another one loose. We moved kid #2 to college this morning.  Kid #1 flies to France on September 1st to study French (funny how that works) leaving just me, Connie and our third and final child at home.  It leaves me with the option of rambling around this now, practically empty house, or finding something to fill my time.  I have a few things in mind and briefly thought about joining a civic organization of some kind.  There’s plenty to choose from: Jaycees, Shriners (I can’t join any club that I’d have to wear a fez to belong), Loins International, Pheasants Forever, Ducks Unlimited, Knights of Columbus (I’m not Catholic-but I could fake it), Hells Angels (can I just use my truck as my motorcycle?), Promise Keepers and Methodists (I know Methodists aren’t a civic organization but I know a lot of them and they’re fun to be around). 

I’ve always operated under the premise of the Groucho Marx quote “I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member” so I think that I’ve come up with something that will suffice for now, the Too Tired to Attend Meetings Club.   No rock solid rules or policies to be followed.  No club dues, treasurer’s report, parades or secret handshakes.  No meetings every month or having to do something “civilly minded” other than pay your taxes and obey the five-mile-per-hour-over-fudge on the speed limit.  You could spot us practically anywhere in our discreet “uniforms”, khakis slacks, or blue jeans, shirts from a department store or farm supply.  Not overly technology dependent, no monthly newsletter, but handsome devils we are. 

Our sole purpose would be to let other guys, and the few ladies who would tolerate our presence, know where good places are to eat.  For instance the following exchange would happen something like this. 

Report:  Me (Rich), Chet, Chase, Bob, Dave and Fred met in the parking lot of the drug store, then left in Chet’s Suburban (it having a half-ton frame and suspension to hold us all with ease).  Bob remarked how sitting in Chet’s SUV was “like riding on a V-8 powered leather couch” to which most of us agreed except for Chase…he’s a Dodge lover but we like him anyway.  We had decided earlier to check out a bar, Snuffy’s Tap, that we had heard good things about in nearby Marengo, so off we went.  We rolled up to Snuffy’s in good time and found the place packed at 5 PM (always a good sign of great food in small town Iowa).  Fred started whining about the wait but the rest of us just ignored him and grabbed some beers until a table opened up a little bit later.  

The menu was your basic run of the mill bar food, lot’s of beef, pork and chicken along with a few entrees.  I had the Dry Dock burger (it combines my love of having as many farm animals grilled and put on a bun with my love of sautéed mushrooms, onions and peppers with my love of at least two or three different kinds of cheese on top of everything).  It rocked!!  Fred had the Swiss steak with mushroom sauce, real mashed taters, corn and dinner roll.  Chet, Chase and Dave all got some kind of burger too.  Bob got broasted chicken, green beans and some fried okra.  No desserts were available, but a couple of us had spotted a Dairy Queen coming into town.  Dave was in charge of making a mental note as to its location for later.

Another nice thing about Snuffy’s Tap is that everywhere you look, there’s a big O’ TV looking right back at you.  Saturday night was a great time as they had the five TV’s that I was watching set to: a football game, baseball playoff game, a NASCAR race, Barrett-Jackson classic car auction and some channel showing a lot of Hawaiian Tropic Sun Tan girls playing volleyball (check local listings).  The six of us agreed that we could recommend this bar to others in clear conscience.  Great food.  Fair prices.  Nice people.  That’s what we do and you’re welcome.

One piece of advice though, the mushroom gravy on Fred’s mashed taters’ gave him horrible, foul smelling gas…much worse than Fred normally has.  I personally believe that it was the chopped green peppers and onions in Fred’s corn, but that’s just one mans opinion.

If you have little kids and want to go to Snuffy’s…they have a kids menu, but hold on to ‘em tight and love ‘em up…for before too long you’ll be moving them to some state college and looking for a civic organization to join.  When you’re ready…we’ll have a chair and menu waiting for you.


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