Holy hot fudge! My guts got it’s own zip code!

I don’t fit too many demographic segments that are perceived as “positive” by the mainstream media.  I’m white.  I’m middle aged.  I make a “middle income” and apparently us white middle aged guys are, and always have been throughout history, in the thick of doing things like start wars, keep the poor impoverished, keep other nationalities from achieving their goals whether it be political, social, financial, religious and whatnot…and I’m not about to defend any of that. We’re human and humans tend to want to do what they perceive as “right by their own” and screw the rest.  I know we’re not alone in this mindset, just go to any youth sports game and listen to what adults say about other adults children.  I’d have to say that my demographic doesn’t have a monopoly on these feelings, thoughts and actions, and I, and many many others don’t have anything to do with the aformentioned faults.


The segment that I belong to at this time is the “tweener” group, more preciously; my waist is too fat for 34-inch pants and too thin for 36 inch.  It’s a dilemma that all of the major news outlets have turned a blind eye towards and it’s not right.  Not many blue jean manufacturers make the elusive “35 inch waist jeans or slacks” and I think that I know why.  When a guy starts getting too heavy for his 34’s and can’t find any 35’s he has an automatic “pass” to start eating more so he can fill out his expansive and roomy 36’s.  Bigger gut, bigger butt and nice thick thighs (sounds like a prize bull doesn’t it?) but I digress.  At our local farm supply store I found that both Levi and Wrangler brand jeans had 35’s on hand though only the Levi’s had my inseam of 32’s (I’m shrinking…I used to have a 34” inseam).    To reinforce this theory of mine I recall a recent meeting that I attended where the participants did an “ice breaking” exercise where you were asked to stand up, tell your name, home church, responsibility at that meeting AND finally your favorite ice cream.  It’s a great exercise to get folks to start talking and after some guys said their favorite ice cream (at least the more creative ones) the room (filled mostly with middle aged white guys) would nod their heads in approval and you’d hear other guys say “oh yeah…I forgot about butter crunch” or “mint chocolate chip…that’s a good one” or “what did he just say?  I couldn’t hear.”


White middle-aged men.  Warmongers.  Republicans.  Democratics.  Conservatives, and, apparently….ice cream lovers.  One scoop please, I’ve got a pair of 35’s to try to fit into.

What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? (For those lactose intolerant folks…what’s your favorite ice cream flavor to get sick from?)


4 thoughts on “Holy hot fudge! My guts got it’s own zip code!

  1. Hubbs lost 30 lbs after a Diabetes scare a few years ago – truth be told, it was the 1/2 a plate of mashed potatoes at supper and the 8 or 10 cookies before bedtime that put him over the edge. Now he’s a 35 waister too. Solution? Online shopping!

    Not an ice cream eater but as a kid I liked “Tiger-Tiger” ice cream from Canada’s “Laura Secord” shoppe – it was orange ice cream with a black licorice stripe. Sounds gnarly now, but I loved it as a girl 🙂


  2. Cookies get me into trouble too. If I just practiced “portion control” and took a walk after each meal I’d be a 34 easily. 🙂

    Tiger Tiger? Sounds fun/interesting.

  3. My husband is in the same range…..needs a 35-32 (having eaten and shrunk his way from 32-34 as mid-life dictated). He’s now eating his way into a 36 but keeps ALL his 32s “because I’m going to get back into them.” No comment.

  4. Look for the ‘comfort waist’ jeans and slacks with the hidden elastic in the waistband. They’re so well made that you cannot tell it’s there…unlike the really ugly elastic waistband on many women’s slacks.
    Best flavor ice cream I ever had was down in Florida…something like ‘Amoretto Cappuchino Decadence’. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I’ve never been able to find it in my part of the country.

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