“You’re old…OLD MAN” is one of our oldest daughters favorite sayings when addressing me…and she’s spot on in her evaluation.

I’ve noticed this on other occasions as I’ve recently switched radio stations, to KMRY FM, otherwise known as “K Memory”.  They play songs from the seventies and eighties that you rarely hear these days unless you’re “cultured” and have satellite radio…which I don’t.  Another tell-tale sign is that some of my favorite foods are now off-limits unless I want intestinal issues.  Jalapeno peppersI love ’em, but they haven’t loved me back in almost five years.  I recently lost my mind and ate some and had what resembled as a “hard rock concert” playing away in my lower intestine for the next two days.  The band made curtain call after curtain call, throwing in all of the “heavy percussion, bass guitar and for good measure…pyrotechnics and plenty of smoke just to keep the show….er “active“.  It’ll be awhile before I try those delicious jalapenos again.

I am getting older as yesterday, my bride of twenty-four years, Connie, confirmed this when for the second straight “date night” in a row we “negotiated” the date to these terms:

  1. We attend the movie she wanted to see IF (my terms now) we attend the last afternoon matinée instead of the later time of (GASP!) 7:30. (honestly…I’m tired at 7:30…but at 3:40 in the afternoon I’m still unusually witty, handsome & romantic). AND…
  2. The post-movie meal be at somewhere where there wasn’t a waiting line of more than thirty seconds.   This is one of my usual “terms of date night” deals.  I hate to wait to eat (it’s my “hungry and whiny 8-year-old boy” side coming out in me).  Connie tells me that we can “talk” while we wait out the forty-five minute “wait for a table while my blood sugar dips” and I go all “Joe Pesci” on everyone.  I reply “Talk?”  We talked going to the movie.  We talked while we waited for the movie to start and we talked during the drive coming over here…that’s like twenty or thirty minutes of talking and listening for cryin’ out loud.” (did I mention earlier that I’m not necessarily a romantic guy when I’m hungry?)  Noteably…the theater was filled with mostly older guys with their wives (someone else has been doing some negotiating as well I see!)  Connie’s remark went something like “You’re really getting old…wanting to go to matinees the last two dates.”  Yes…and I like it that some young punk isn’t pushing their sandaled toe-ringed feet into the back of my seat too (you rarely get that at a matinée)

But back to the “old man blog” thing.  It’s “day light savings” morning and, accordingly, I set my clock back an hour….which meant that I promptly woke up at 3:30 this morning and was “ready to go” for the day.  Aaarrrggghh.  I begrudgingly stayed in bed until 5.  Then waited until six to head to the coffee shop to really start my day with a nice hot black cup of coffee (my daily devotional makes more sense when fueled with caffeine)….except that they weren’t open until 6:30 (REALLY?!  WHAT THE HELL, PEOPLE!!  YOU SELL COFFEE AS YOUR MAIN PRODUCT!!  OPEN UP AND SELL IT!!)  As for me and the other guy (yes…another older guy) waiting for them to open I grew impatient and left to do some grocery shopping and to buy a cup at their Starbucks kiosk.

As expected I pretty much had the whole grocery store to myself.  Just me, my cup of coffee and handful of middle-aged men all picking up a few things.  As I stood in the check out line, wondering if I needed anything else when I heard a voice from the guy behind me.  “What’d ya think of that movie yesterday?  I recognized your bald spot…you and your wife sat in front of me and my wife.”   We chuckled over his remark, talked a little about the movie and departed ways.

Getting older…it could be okay…beats the alternative.  Have a great week.

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