Top Ten Reason’s That Doug
Is Going To India
1. He’s going for business; he’s staying for the tandoori chicken and rogan josh. MMmmm…tandoori josh.
2. He’s dying to see a Bollywood movie starring Indian hotties Amitabh Bachchar and Aishwarua Rai. (WOOT WOOT!!)
3. Nothing says “holiday spirit” like visiting a continent with subtropical weather in the southern hemisphere! “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire….”
4. The Hawkeyes are to college football that mammary glands are to a bull…so why not leave for awhile?
5. Hells bells…it’s only eight thousand, six hundred and twenty-five miles from eastern Iowa to India…so it’s like only a day and a half away if he makes all twelve connecting flights.
6. He’s checking out the new Holiday Inn Express in Bangladesh and seeing if his H.I.E. points transfer from continent to continent.
7. Doug loves an $8.00 cup of mediocre, lukewarm airline coffee as much as anyone! “You want cream or suga with that luv?”
8. Three words….Kalyani Black Label. It’s the Pabst Blue Ribbon of the Indian continent, my friend.
9. Doug wants to check out the new Regis Philbin morning talk show with co-host, Indian sweetheart…Kareema Kapoor. So newsy that Kareema Kapoor!
10. David Hasselhoff is starting his comeback tour in Bangladesh and Doug’s a HUGE HOFF FAN…like nutty, stalker-type goofball weirdo fan type. “Who has two thumbs and wants a ‘HOFF’S A HOTTIE’ tee-shirt for Christmas?! THIS GUY!!”