Top Ten List of Things That You Never Knew About richripley
1. At the core I’m quite shy. I can prove this; just try singing “Happy Birthday” to me on my birthday. I’ll throat punch you, or at least attempt to silence you. I want attention on my terms. Though I’m shy…I have an R rated sense of humor which most folks never see or hear until I’ve taken them into my confidence. Not like F-bomb, R rated, just stuff that you wouldn’t think I’d say until you knew me.
2. I can listen to Huey Lewis and The News for hours. Hours. They’re my favorite band. (sorry Johhny Thunderslapp Lentz) My favorite color, red in all shades.
3. I think about my family constantly. From my wife and kids to Mom, brothers, aunts, uncles, in-laws, cousins, etc. They’ve been a blessing to me and I love them all. All.
4. At the age of fifty I’ll change my name back to Dick. When I was growing up all of the old guys who were named Richard went by Dick. At fifty, if I live that long, I’m going that way too. When they announce my name at a varsity game as one of the officials it’ll be brutal, but old dudes are immune to stuff like that so suck it.
5. I’m quite sentimental. I get choked up watching beer commercials on TV. Dead serious.
6. I wish that I had gone to college and become a meteorologist, or real-estate agent…or both. “..if you look closely at the radar you’ll see a tornado near the Bowman Woods development on the northeast side where, by the way, I have several homes listed at very reasonable prices, close to good schools, a public pool and just fifteen minutes from downtown Cedar Rapids…and look!! The library just moved three blocks closer!!” But seriously…I honestly felt that I’d be much more successful than what I’ve ended up as. Such is life.
7. While I have hundreds of friends and a handful of close friends, I have one best friend. We’re almost polar opposites. He’s an axe-wielding hippie hitchhiker bent on preventing the inevitable zombie apocalypse while I’m more like “dude…how’s your Mom?” while we drink a couplea beers. Honestly…we’re just different from one another and I think that’s why we enjoy each other’s company. Best friends going on 29 years this August.
8. I’m inept at many, many things. Just ask my wife. I cannot fix the: computer, TV, car, truck, garage door, electrical outlet, IPhone, camera, dryer, washer, refrigerator OR anything requiring mechanical ability, mathematical aptitude or the proper use of apostrophes. I was instead gifted with a witty and somewhat R rated sense of humor to keep the rest of you people laughing, so suck it.
9. I wake up in pain every morning. I hope that this is just the whole “getting old” thing that folks complain about. It seems every part of me makes some sort of sound, crack or pop as I hobble down the stairs to the kitchen. I feel better after a cup of coffee and some stretching…but man…is this going to get worse?
10. I’m impatient, shy, attention-deficient, and OCD…and that’s just during foreplay (HIIIII-OOOooooo!!!! There’s that R-rated sense of humor rearing its naughty head again…DOWN BOY!!) Anyway…I’m some of each of those, a regular buffet of anxiety sprinkled with anger glazed with shyness with some other character flaw that I cannot remember at this time (but if you need a punch-line I’ll have one for you quickly)…..anyway….if you don’t care for me, wait an hour…I’m bound to change.
11. (I told you earlier in #8 that I’m no good at number-thingies so just deal with the fact that this Top 10 List has eleven) I believe that there are such things as ghosts, spirits, etc. I have no idea how or why they’re around, but I think that there are some folks who can communicate with them. Do I ever wish to speak with the dead, NO. I also think that there are other life forms outside of our universe. I think God is great enough to have created more than just us. That’s my two cents.