Writers block. I got nothing to write about. My expert writers at RIPLEY INDUSTRIES are all on their summer sabbatical (one’s reroofing his hen house while the other is changing out the clutch in his truck). Since they’re out of the office I’m “on” for this weeks blog. Here are some random thoughts from the CEO:

Siriusly? We just bought a new car. A Ford Focus. It replaces our Ford F250 ten cylinder truck. Its sporty…almost too nice for me to drive. We love the 34 MPG verses the 10 MPG we were used to getting in the truck. So many new buttons and whistles. It came with a free three-month subscription to SiriusXM radio. Satellite radio with hundreds of entertainment options. Hip-hop, Rhythm and Blues, Rock, Pop, Christian, Dance and Electronic, Jazz, Classical, Kids, Politics, Traffic and Weather, Comedy, Latino, Religion, Sports, News and Public Radio and on and on and on. I recently had a chance to drive long enough to listen to many of these channels (my usual commute is ten minutes or less). I found out that satellite radio is a lot like cable TV…many options but, honestly, I only need TWO channels. Classic 70’s rock and Classic 80’s rock. Who’d want to change the channel when you can rock on down the highway to the Captain and Tennille’s “Love Can Keep Us Together”? Heh? Not this guy!! At $150 for a years subscription…we’ll pass, but thanks for asking.

A lot of folks take cheap shots at mega-retailer WalMart. I’m not one of them. They embrace who they are, an ultra-large company with great prices on the vast selection of goods that they sell (I’d embrace myself too if I were that successful and wealthy). They’ve never advertised that they’re the fastest at checking out your purchases, so I’m kind of confused when folks shop there and complain about the long lines…that’s the trade-off folks. I love their wide selection of some of the wackiest stuff, which I never buy but love to caption. They are as follows:

Finally a commercial bakery has captured the delicious taste of the hard and stony substance secreted by marine coelenterates as external skeletons into an individually wrapped in cellophane baked treat!!!   CAN I HAVE ANOTHER CORAL CAKE MOM?!
Finally a commercial bakery has captured the delicious taste of the hard and stony substance secreted by marine coelenterates as external skeletons into an individually wrapped in cellophane baked treat!!! CAN I HAVE ANOTHER CORAL CAKE MOM?!
As a child did you have a cousin with a voracious appetite for Play Dough but could never prove that he was eating it?  Well now you can!!  When your Lumi Dough starts to disappear just stick your suspected cousin into a darkened closet and BAM!!   Mystery solved...or it could be your dog...if your dogs logs glow at night...there's your sign.
As a child did you have a cousin with a voracious appetite for Play Dough but could never prove that he was eating it? Well now you can!! When your Lumi Dough starts to disappear just stick your suspected cousin into a darkened closet and BAM!! Mystery solved…or it could be your dog…if your dogs logs glow at night…there’s your sign.
Yes...please...give your 8 year old a "starter DJ kit".  Whatever happened to kids riding bikes....?
Yes…please…give your 8 year old a “starter DJ kit”. Whatever happened to kids riding bikes….?
...get Junior one of these and he could start making some serious cash chalking newly blacktopped roads, streets and parking lots.  Those Coral Cakes don't grow on trees!!
…get Junior one of these and he could start making some serious cash chalking newly blacktopped roads, streets and parking lots. Those Coral Cakes don’t grow on trees!!

And finally…I worked with an old baseball umpire last week as my partner. Umpires, as a whole, usually have several stories to share with whomever they’re working with that game. Honestly, several games have been delayed because the umpires were too entranced in each others stories to start the next inning. Umpires stories parallel those of fishermen, except that they’re usually telling something closely resembling the truth. The following is a pretty good story. It seems that this umpire was working a baseball game where one team was being thrashed by its opponent. THRASHED. The losing coach was fed up with his players and was making it a point to get thrown out (ejected). He hollered. He pouted. He gestured wildly. He was making a scene…all so that he’d get ejected and get to leave the ball park and go sit on the bus and not have to witness his teams ineptness that night. My partner walked over to the dugout, called the coach over to him and told him “Coach…I’m not going to toss you tonight. If I gotta stay out here and watch this then so do you.” With that my partner returned to his position and he didn’t hear anything else out of that coach for the rest of the night. Not. One. Peep.

Have a great week. God bless!
Peace!
R

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