So a buddy of mine was running down the basketball court the other night and “BAM!!” goes down like a sack a potato’s with a torn quad.  Season over.  Surgery “check”.  Rehab started.  Its a shame whenever anyone gets hurt, especially when its going to keep them from doing what they love to do. Chris officiates at the high school and college level.  He works basketball, softball and football.  Working in sports is one of his passions.  That passion will be on hold while he heals for approximately six months.  I imagine that there’s a lesson for all of us to learn from this, like “don’t take for granted that what you love will always be there” but that’s a thought for another day.  Until then….here’s what I think Chris’ TOP TEN THINGS THAT CHRIS WILL DO TO KILL TIME WHILE HE HEALS will look like…being the studious note taker that he is.

TOP TEN THINGS THAT CHRIS WILL DO

TO KILL TIME WHILE HE HEALS

  1. Insist that all of his rehab and physical therapy be done to RICHARD SIMMON’S SWEATIN’ TO THE OLDIES DVD. (that dude really gets after it in his short shorts!! Richard Simmon’s….not Chris….no one wants to see Chris in short shorts)
  2. Devotedly watch the ladies on The View, Rachael Ray, Ellen and Judge Judy every single day.  (there’s a silver lining in every dark cloud)
  3. Go to a basketball game of a coach that’s given him a tough time, sit behind the bench and shout encouraging words to the officials working that game.  “YES!!! I, TOO, SAW THAT THE DRIBBLER HAD GAINED AN ILLEGAL ADVANTAGE ON THE DEFENDER BY USING HIS FOREARM INTO HIS LEGALLY ESTABLISHED DEFENDERS TORSO!!  EXCEPTIONAL CALL MY FRIEND!!”  (then wait for the coach to shoot him the stink eye)
  4. Read Fifty Shades of Grey and see what all the hubbub’s about.
  5. Learn to speak Spanish AND the language of LOVE.
  6. Adopt a puppy.  Name it Roscoe.  Get into mischief everyday until his knee is feeling better.
  7. Work on mastering his spray-tan technics.  So far….so good.
  8. See how many Jell-O brand pudding cups that he can eat in one day. (his old record is sixteen)
  9. Test drive all of the electric handicap shopping carts in Linn and Johnson counties stores and rate them accordingly. “While Wal-Mart’s handicap cart lacked the acceleration that I thrive on, its handling and cornering through the maze of aisles and displays was remarkably nimble and, dare I say…supple.  One drawback to this particular model was the lack of a horn…which had been disabled by store personnel, and that the handlebar throttle was sticky from a previous driver.  Overall rating of three on an ascending scale of five.” (submit to CAR AND DRIVER magazine)
  10. Work on making the BEST DAMN GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH….EVER!!

Get better soon, Chris.

R

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