It hurts rrriiggghhhtttt……here.

Computer searches are practically worthless to me.  All I want is a simple answer to my relatively simple question.  For example….I work for a grocery store chain and  occasionally I’ll have to look up something on our companies on-line catalog, like Betty Crocker chocolate cake mix.  For the uninformed, Betty Crocker makes ALOT of stuff….literally hundreds of products.  I entered several different variations of what I was looking for such as:

Betty Crocker cake mix…nope…don’t have any.

BC cake mix….nope…nothing found.

cake mix….I got pancake mixes instead

This went on for about ten minutes while I searched, swore, scratched my noggin and tried various other versions of getting the order number for said cake mix.  I knew that our warehouse sold them….I simply couldn’t find the correct aisle location code…they were under “layered cake mixes”.  Who knew?  Not this guy.  Its cake mix…call it cake mix.  I suppose it’s labeled under “layered cake mix” for a valid reason….but for a guy who just enjoys eating cake as much as the next guy….its under layered cake mix and now I know for the next time that I’ll need that information in approximately fifteen years.

Getting back to the whole “computer search” thing is worthless to me rant….I think that I pulled a muscle in my lower back a couplea weeks ago.  I bend over to pick something up and WHAM the pain shoots from just over my waistline on my right side to up and into my rib cage. (actually….its more like its a love-handle strain because that is exactly where the pain resonates).  To compound this issue is the fact that several times a week I unload around 10,000 pounds of groceries off of our loading dock then, along with our trusty stocking crew, break down those loads and stock them to the shelves in our store (I know….it sounds very glamorous and like a wonderful workout but doing it for 25 years grinds you down a little).  As with each case that I bend over to pick up, open and then stock onto the shelves the aforementioned “love-handle strain” pain gets me with every case of product.  From the case of Friskies salmon flavored cat treats to the 40 pound bags of cow manure that we sell in our Garden Center…its there…taking my breath away each and every time.  It’s a reliable reminder that I did something wrong and now my body is reminding me that its still hurt….and will remain hurt until something changes.  I innocently searched the WebMD site today and entered my symptoms, hoping for a little insight as to what I could do at home prior to a doctors visit.  It looks rather bleak for me after I entered everything in and clicked on the part of me that’s hurting.  Apparently this is what I could have (this is where I don’t understand computer searches…again):

  • cat scratch disease (is this similar to what rocker Ted Nugent is belly-achin’ about?)
  • bird flu (I don’t have this….really…I don’t)
  • syphilis…..(100% nope)
  • toxic shock syndrome (good grief…really?)
  • ricin poisoning (HHHMMM…..poisoning via castor beans aye…?  I do like a good baked bean casserole…)
  • coxsackie virus infection (its REAL and doesn’t involve the areas that you’d think that it does….and I don’t have those issues)
  • lupis….(nah)
  • sarcoidosis (I like the name…it sounds serious…all Latin sounding and such….but I don’t have it)

Thank God I don’t have any of the above….yet….but I’m still without a good answer to my issue….my “love-handlitis” per say.  Perhaps its just me getting old-er.  The last time that I went to my doctor with a similar pain he replied “hire someone younger to do that heavy lifting for you…” which is easy for him to say…he’s a doctor….I’m just a schmuck with love-handlitis.  Just like Fred Sanford….the pain comes on real and gets my attention….though Fred does it a lot better than I.

Peace and God bless you this week.

R

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