Why Jordan…why?


I hired you on July 19 2011.

We became friends shortly thereafter.

I’m not supposed to have favorites.  Like every manager I have those that I like to work with more than others.  Some employees need supervision on everything, while others do not. Some go the extra mile without asking, others barely make it to the end of their shift.  Some make me work on making them better while a few select, a very small percentage, excel and challenge me to keep them busy.  I’ve been abundantly blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life through my profession, some have even gotten their way into my heart.  You were one of them.

You were reliable, energetic, funny, bright, handsome, hard-working, quick-witted, fiercely competitive, stubborn, a world traveler, but most of all…you were my friend.  I took you into my confidence.  You were one of the few who teased me back and busted my chops.  I trusted you.


December 2013 you and Dalton asked if you could stripe the mannicans of their holiday clothes and wear them that night. I said "why the hell not..?" You were always looking for a laugh.

December 2013 you and Dalton asked if you could strip the mannequins  of their holiday clothes and wear them that night. I said “why the hell not..?” You were always looking for a laugh, and you usually found it.

You and Becky...ugly sweater contest

You and Becky…ugly sweater contest

...did I mention that you liked to clown around? Here you are with Alysarose...two knucklheads

…did I mention that you liked to clown around? Here you are with Alysa…two knuckleheads


You and Bailey for Halloween

You and Bailey for Halloween

You, Jared and Blake...three super dudes.

You, Jared and Blake…three super dudes

Probably being naughty...but nice around Santa this year

Probably being naughty…but nice around Santa

...was there anyone that you didn't take a selfie with?

…was there anyone that you didn’t take a selfie with?

Swiping my phone and posing with Gwen 2015

Swiping my phone and posing with Gwen 2015

2016...With our friends daughter, Lilly. She'll never know...

2016…With our friends daughter, Lilly. She’ll never know…

Wednesday 8/17/2016…you were uncharacteristically late.  You didn’t answer my phone calls.  You didn’t answer my texts.  I grew concerned.  I called your grandmother.  I was on the phone with her when she found you.  Her frantic screams at the other end of the phone are still ringing in my ears.  I hung up and called 911 then rushed to your home.  It was too late. I stood on your lawn.  What do I do now?  Your neighbors gathered on the sidewalk, away from your house.  I took a wide walk away from them to avoid their questions.  I’ve always prided myself on knowing what to do, who to call and how to brush aside the emotion and stress of the situation and get my job done.  27 years in the hot seat will do that, but this…the death of a friend who’s a big part of our store?  That’s altogether unchartered territory. What’s my job now?  Why…?

Who do I call first?  What do I tell them.  How do I keep the present crew in the dark while I try to wrap my head around this….all while mourning you myself?  I go over the last conversation that we had that day.  It was all business.  Did I say something wrong to push you over the dark edge that you were at?  Was I curt or a prick?  Didn’t you know how much we loved you?  How much I loved you?  Jordan…all you had to do was call any one of us and you would have had an army of friends and family to hold you until the darkness passed.  Now…its too late.  Why…?

Arrangements to be made.  Hollow heart.  Scattered brain…I can’t keep my thoughts on track.  Orders to be written.  Customers to wait on.  Coworkers to comfort.  Customers ask why everyone on the crew is forlorn, so sad.  It’s a bitter pill to swallow, to repeat the story and hear their shock, their disbelief.   I have to go in, to work, to comfort to try to get everyone else and myself through this.  My head hurts from crying so much.  I’m told that I can go home.  Spontaneous crying, cold shock and unanswered questions are the ingredients of this horrible day.  Why…?

At night I try to sleep.  I’m exhausted but memories of our exchanges cross my darkened minds eye like flames that flicker at a candles end.  Bright flickers…just asking to be replayed again and again.  Why…?

When I finally leave this earthly home, I wonder if God will look the other way once you and I finally meet again…because I feel like punching you hard in the chest…not violently…just to knock some sense into you.  We trusted you.  We called you our friend and now we’re hurting because you took you away from us.  We’re selfish, Jordan.  We wanted you here for a long, long time…to watch you complete college, to excel and get a career, to get married, raise a family to travel the world.  That’s all gone from us now and…quite frankly…we’re hurt.  We’re pissed and hurt and sad.  My whole body hurts.  Why Jordan…why?

 On our way to Career Day 2015

On our way to
Career Day 2015

This will hurt for a while…but I’ll never forget you buddy.  You were a blessing to those around you…maybe we should have told you that a little more often.



14 thoughts on “Why Jordan…why?

  1. I am so sorry to hear this. Jared spoke so highly of Jordan and wanted to steal him and bring him to the Marion DS. My thoughts are w you and all other coworkers, family and friends.

  2. I’m sorry for the loss of your co-worker and friend. And I’m sad for your hurts and know that you will be there to help the others through. Keep writing, Rich, it’s therapeutic. You were a good friend!

  3. I am sorry for your loss I am a customer of your store and my Grandson use to work there and my daughter in law still does I know both of them are heart broken Jordan must have been a wonderful young man to have so many people who really cared Prarers to all of you and his family

  4. Such sad news. I come in all the time and he for sure was one of my favorites. My thoughts and prayers are with all of the staff and his family.

  5. Dear Rich and the staff of the 6 Th St Hy-Vee Drugstore crew I and the family didn’t get to know Jordan but we knew the other staff members very well. We would like send out thoughts and prayers to the family and the staff he was a smart and joyful young man. God bless you and the staff.

  6. You never know what one is going through. I frequent this store often and Jordan always had a smile and spoke. This hurts my heart to the core. I will definitely miss seeing your smile when I come into the store. Fly high sweetie.

  7. Rich, Sorry to hear of the loss of a co-worker. Thoughts and prayers go out to Jordan and staff at 6th St drugstore.

  8. Rich, your words comfort me and I didn’t even know Jordan. That should tell you how much they comfort the ones that knew and loved him. Keep doing what you do,it is needed and appreciated.

  9. Rich, I am so thankful for your thought and the comfort that you shared. My Oldest daughter is Jordan’s sister. They were very close and loved eachother dearly. This was a very hard pill to swollow when I had to break this new to her. I shared this with her hoping that this will comfort her as well. I want you to know that I am praying for you and his co-workers. He will always hold a very special place in our hearts.
    Thank you

  10. No words can comfort you or help you to understand what took him to this sad, dark place. Very sorry to hear of this beautiful young man’s tragic passing and the deep hurt it leaves for all those left behind to mourn his passing. Your words are comforting and resonate. MJ

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