Charmed…I’m sure

I’ve led a charmed life, always have.  I set a barn on fire at the age of seven and came away unscathed.  I peed on an electric fence twice and didn’t suffer too terribly (the second time I didn’t take the wind into account)  Lesson learned.  I dated a cheerleader for six months in 1983 who dumped me for a good friend of mine (it was still a pretty good year…).  All in all my failures have been about learning life’s lessons and moving forward, but not towards electric fences nor cheerleaders.  Both bite.

My latest series of lessons came within days of each other.  I lost my drivers license…again.  I passed through the first three and a half decades of my driving career without so much as misplacing my permit or license but in the past year I’ve lost two (I put it in my duffle bag when I go to the gym and it somehow disappears from there…).  Regardless of losing them I always have a photocopy of them in our safe in case something like this arises.  Here’s a quick sample of them.  Enjoy…

Photo #1...Homicidal murderer.  My favorite.  #2...Old Man Ripley complete with jowls, extended neck and shaved eyebrows.  #3...I purposely extended my head out so my jowls would be pulled tight and somehow my eyebrows grew back.  THANKS MAYBELLINE!!

Photo #1…Homicidal murderer. My favorite. #2…Old Man Ripley complete with jowls, saggy neck and shaved eyebrows. #3…I purposely extended my head out so my jowls would be pulled tight and somehow my eyebrows grew back. THANKS MAYBELLINE!!

The second lesson from this week lies within my jaw.  I started experiencing pain in my jaw when I chewed.  Thankfully I have a great set of teeth…goofy, coffee-stained teeth.  My dentist jumped at the chance to look in mouth hoping to fix my painful malady once I called him (I’m kind of a big deal.  True story.)  No cracked teeth.  No cavities.  No root canal problems. No gum issues.  Nothing in the form of dental problems but I do have a history of TMJ otherwise known as jaw pain.  The last time that I had it was several years ago and I had to have physical therapy for it, which never cured it, per se, it only manages it.  My jaw makes a “clicking” sound each time that I chew.  I’m used to it, others notice it when I dine with them.  The dentist told me that I may have aggravated it if I yawned too widely or sneezed really loudly.  So yeah…I’m in pain and can’t chew this week because I sneezed loudly…which I do several times a day (when you’ve got a nose the size of mine…you take in a lot of pollen…just sayin’).  There’s not much that I can do at the moment except rest my jaw…which is really difficult to do when you’re a loud mouth like me.  There’s a lesson in it I suppose, much like that of the barn fire, electric fence and wayward cheerleader girlfriend though I have yet to figure that out.  Until then I’ll try to be a little quieter.  Pass the soup, please.

God bless…

R

 

 

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